Thursday, June 01, 2006
Now I gotta deal with the okey-doke!!
So I was just thinking, about these skank’s out here making it bad for the respectable sistahs!
Picture this: She walks into the club with her low rise J-Lo jeans on (that are not really made for sistah’s with ample bottoms, but that’s another story) with her thong showing. She parades around the room, making even the most respectful gentleman turn his head. She’s eyeing her prey. No man is exempt. Not even that brother with that platinum band on his left hand. Swaying through the crowded room, she feels a smack on her rear that makes her jelly shake. She turns to eye the culprit who’s expecting a reprimanding but receives a giggle and a smile. Wait! Her jam comes on. She let’s Lil’ Jon instruct her to get low, get low, get low, get low. Suddenly she has an audience. After the song is over, she pulls her jeans up and one of her lustful spectators grabs her and leads her to the bar for a drink.
My girls and I are watching in disgust as this chick commands the room and even gets a drink out of it. The guy is looking at me like “Why should I waste my time talking to you only to get a number, then have to take you out on a date before I can even get a kiss? I’ve already seen the “Thong Girl’s” goods and will bet you a dime to my dollar that I could hit tonight." "Good question," I say.
Ladies, why would a brother want to go the high route for a companion when we have women out here that don’t even respect themselves? When we demand a little respect, we are a stuck-up b#$%!! A few women have taken the respect out of the dating game. I’m not a hater. Do what you must, but not at my expense. In the above scenario there’s one predator and three victims:
Predator – Thong girl. Slithering through the club setting a standard that is going to be hard for the “Real Women” to break.
Victim #1 – The guy that slapped her butt. She’s inadvertently created a monster. Because she didn’t reprimand him for disrespecting her, now he thinks that he can do that to everyone. So when I walk through the crowd and he touches my ample (anti-J-Lo jean) bottom and I knock his ass out, I’m wrong.
Victim#2 – The brotha that escorts her to the bar after her stripper-like impromptu dance. He has booty goggles on, his mind is set on nothing less than getting some. Therefore any self-respecting woman has lost a chance at a dance, a drink or anything else. You might be saying “Why would a self-respecting woman want this brotha?” but you have to understand he’s under the influence of that tiny triangle. He just may be a decent bloke, when he’s sober.
Victim #3- The woman with her self-respect stamped on her head like a “I’m not like her!” sign. Which leaves her with two options, either succumb to the fact that she’ll be dancing with her girls, buying her own drinks or in a fight with a brother who thinks that he can convert her into “thong girl”!
By the actions of a few chicks that don’t present themselves like ladies, the value of a stable relationship has slipped down a few rungs. Now don’t get it twisted! That brotha damn sure ain’t taking “thong girl” home to meet Mama. Let the truth be known, a brotha wants a hoe in the bedroom and a wife in public. So she might get a few house calls after that night but nothing worth any value. She realizes too late that no man wants to walk into a club and everyone knows his woman and her favorite booty-shaking dance. She envisions a picket fence and 2.5 kids as she waits by the phone. Not knowing that all of that flew out the window when she walked into the club with that little triangle on her lower back, for all to see.
So where does this leave us “wifey material” women, you ask? Well, I hate to tell you but we just have to hang in there with our heads held high. Don’t sacrifice your self worth for a few minutes of fame. If you don’t respect yourself then how can you expect someone else to? Tap your friend on her shoulder when she’s had one too many apple martinis and is slipping! We’re in this thing together. Eventually the brothers wake up and separate the hoes from the real women. Once the smoke clears you’ll be standing with your self- respect intact. Ladies, you can get love, romance and respect if you love yourself first.
www.ericanmartin.com
Exciting things are happening at Second Time Media & Communications!
www.2ndtimeonline.net
Picture this: She walks into the club with her low rise J-Lo jeans on (that are not really made for sistah’s with ample bottoms, but that’s another story) with her thong showing. She parades around the room, making even the most respectful gentleman turn his head. She’s eyeing her prey. No man is exempt. Not even that brother with that platinum band on his left hand. Swaying through the crowded room, she feels a smack on her rear that makes her jelly shake. She turns to eye the culprit who’s expecting a reprimanding but receives a giggle and a smile. Wait! Her jam comes on. She let’s Lil’ Jon instruct her to get low, get low, get low, get low. Suddenly she has an audience. After the song is over, she pulls her jeans up and one of her lustful spectators grabs her and leads her to the bar for a drink.
My girls and I are watching in disgust as this chick commands the room and even gets a drink out of it. The guy is looking at me like “Why should I waste my time talking to you only to get a number, then have to take you out on a date before I can even get a kiss? I’ve already seen the “Thong Girl’s” goods and will bet you a dime to my dollar that I could hit tonight." "Good question," I say.
Ladies, why would a brother want to go the high route for a companion when we have women out here that don’t even respect themselves? When we demand a little respect, we are a stuck-up b#$%!! A few women have taken the respect out of the dating game. I’m not a hater. Do what you must, but not at my expense. In the above scenario there’s one predator and three victims:
Predator – Thong girl. Slithering through the club setting a standard that is going to be hard for the “Real Women” to break.
Victim #1 – The guy that slapped her butt. She’s inadvertently created a monster. Because she didn’t reprimand him for disrespecting her, now he thinks that he can do that to everyone. So when I walk through the crowd and he touches my ample (anti-J-Lo jean) bottom and I knock his ass out, I’m wrong.
Victim#2 – The brotha that escorts her to the bar after her stripper-like impromptu dance. He has booty goggles on, his mind is set on nothing less than getting some. Therefore any self-respecting woman has lost a chance at a dance, a drink or anything else. You might be saying “Why would a self-respecting woman want this brotha?” but you have to understand he’s under the influence of that tiny triangle. He just may be a decent bloke, when he’s sober.
Victim #3- The woman with her self-respect stamped on her head like a “I’m not like her!” sign. Which leaves her with two options, either succumb to the fact that she’ll be dancing with her girls, buying her own drinks or in a fight with a brother who thinks that he can convert her into “thong girl”!
By the actions of a few chicks that don’t present themselves like ladies, the value of a stable relationship has slipped down a few rungs. Now don’t get it twisted! That brotha damn sure ain’t taking “thong girl” home to meet Mama. Let the truth be known, a brotha wants a hoe in the bedroom and a wife in public. So she might get a few house calls after that night but nothing worth any value. She realizes too late that no man wants to walk into a club and everyone knows his woman and her favorite booty-shaking dance. She envisions a picket fence and 2.5 kids as she waits by the phone. Not knowing that all of that flew out the window when she walked into the club with that little triangle on her lower back, for all to see.
So where does this leave us “wifey material” women, you ask? Well, I hate to tell you but we just have to hang in there with our heads held high. Don’t sacrifice your self worth for a few minutes of fame. If you don’t respect yourself then how can you expect someone else to? Tap your friend on her shoulder when she’s had one too many apple martinis and is slipping! We’re in this thing together. Eventually the brothers wake up and separate the hoes from the real women. Once the smoke clears you’ll be standing with your self- respect intact. Ladies, you can get love, romance and respect if you love yourself first.
www.ericanmartin.com
Exciting things are happening at Second Time Media & Communications!
www.2ndtimeonline.net
# posted by Erica N. Martin @ 9:16 AM 
Comments:
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LOL!
Love your way with words, you sound like me! :)
These chicks are making it hard for decent girls, but why is a decent girl looking for a man in the club? Clubs are overrated. It's hard to find diamonds in trash heaps...
Love your way with words, you sound like me! :)
These chicks are making it hard for decent girls, but why is a decent girl looking for a man in the club? Clubs are overrated. It's hard to find diamonds in trash heaps...
I hear you Mo! I've long since found that my Knight in Shining Armour isn't hanging at the "Platinum Lounge." Love the diamond in trash heaps line though... Oh everybody - visit Mo's site - ON FIRE!!!
Othepoet, I can definitely relate to being able to command attention when walking into a room and even shaking my money maker (look back a few blogs ago)but in your post I didn't see you mention letting your underwear show or allowing a man to disrespect you either. I believe in projecting self-respect so that I can demand respect. I dress "sexy" but respectful. We all have our own definitions of sexy as well as respectful. If you project "easy" men will treat you as such. Besides my description of this skank was "thong showing, eyeing her prey" I was trying to put you guys in the mindset of someone similiar to a predator, not a nice girl out to just have some fun.
I completely understand where you are coming from though. Had the same argument with my ex-husband years back about my tattoo showing. Here I am an upstanding citizen, author, mother of two but he told me my tattoo was distasteful and I should cover it up because it was saying something else. Sigh...still I believe its all in the presentation.
So cheers to the thong girl! Next round on me!
I completely understand where you are coming from though. Had the same argument with my ex-husband years back about my tattoo showing. Here I am an upstanding citizen, author, mother of two but he told me my tattoo was distasteful and I should cover it up because it was saying something else. Sigh...still I believe its all in the presentation.
So cheers to the thong girl! Next round on me!
Hey Othepoet - what happened to the bodaciously round booty? Because I'm nearing 35 in a few years (ahem 1.5) and I don't want to lose my rumpshaker!
Hey Erica,
My first time reading your blog. And I am enjoying it! I know where you are coming from with the thong showing woman, but then again, i like to have a good time and will shake my rumpshaker, just because i like to have a good time...sometimes i get a drink, most tims not, but then again, i'm not out to take anybody home from the club..i'm just there to shake my rump..you hear me.
My first time reading your blog. And I am enjoying it! I know where you are coming from with the thong showing woman, but then again, i like to have a good time and will shake my rumpshaker, just because i like to have a good time...sometimes i get a drink, most tims not, but then again, i'm not out to take anybody home from the club..i'm just there to shake my rump..you hear me.
I think that we can all agree that some level of rumpshaking will occur in a club...I think the first issue isn't the 'shaking' of the rump but the 'showing' of the rump. The second issue is why is someone you don't know touching you? That my lovelies is a clear violation. You set a precedence not only for how he treats YOU but he might get the idea that his tactic will work with other women.
Ya'll dont understand how pumped I am that Sheila Goss, an Essence Bestselling author is posting on my blog!! Thanks Sheila.
MsJayy, love your wording "Some level of rumpshaking...not rump showing!" I appreciate all the post and respect the opinions of all. This was a highly debated topic when I wrote it for my column Chocolate Scoop with Hype Magazine a few years ago.
Now, it's been a minute since I even thought about going into a club, but i still see the thong thing all around me, even as back country as where i live. As you said Erica, it goes back to self-respect. We have to decide if we want the flash "thrill" ride or the long haul. If we want "everybody's" attention or just the one "special" person's attention. And definitely, NO TOUCHING unless they know its allowed. And the man that calls me a b&*$ can get ready to call me another one cause I plan to give him some B&^%$ to think about!
If the thong works, then be prepared to show what you are advertising. If you ain't advertising, keep it behind closed doors. Life is Way, Way simpler.
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If the thong works, then be prepared to show what you are advertising. If you ain't advertising, keep it behind closed doors. Life is Way, Way simpler.
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