I was just thinking by Erica

I'm feeling contemplative right now. There have been a few new developments in my life recently and it helps to reflect on how I got where I am today. There's a saying how people come into your life for a season, reason or a lifetime and each one plays an intrical part in who you are or will become. I'm organizing my seasoners, my reasoners (I know- I'm making these up) and my lifetimers. I pray that they all go into their categories willingly. You know sometimes a seasoner may think they are a lifetimer or a reasoner may think they are a seasoner. I've learned so much over the past year, that it is easy for me to distinguish between the three. Just a side note - A lifetimer is up for a super challenge - I've heard it ain't easy loving me.

I'm not old perse' but I've been around for a minute and experienced a lot in my thirty some odd years. In recent years I've tried to follow the rules of my first book, "Second Time Shame on Me" (plug ) and learn from the mistakes that I've made. In re-evaluating what happened, why it happened and what part did my actions play in it all, I find what I could have done differently. I'm not perfect by any means. Yes, I know its hard to believe that I have faults (smile) but I do. One of them being loving hard. I have an addictive personality so when I like something, I'm on it like white on rice. I want it all day, everyday and sometimes too much of a good thing can be just that..too much.

So I'm learning to pace my "addictions." Let go and let God is what someone suggest on their page. (wink- insert inside joke) The most unlikely person gave me the answer that I was looking for. Sometimes God shows us things and we have to let his will be done, whether it makes us happy or not. My knees are ashy right about now because I really had to pray on this one and I have faith that He will bring my prayers to fruition. I pray it's what I want and if it's supposed to be it will be.

I remember when I was younger I prayed for money for candy or for my progress report to get lost in the mail. Prayers get real deep when you get older don't they? Mortgages and car payments are pretty popular, new jobs or a lucky lottery number come to mind, and strength and healing always are in the top three.

I'm gonna follow that persons advice. I'm going to put all these matters in the Lords hands and I know where he takes me is where I'm supposed to be. I practice the power of positive thinking so every night I chant "It will all work out. It will all work out." And that coupled with prayer, I'm sure it will. Tears have adorned my face for too many days. It's time to turn it over. Confusion has now set in and it can only get uglier from here before it gets better. I pray once the smoke clears I am left standing as the victor. I'm going to my prayer closet and I ask that you all include me in your prayers amongst the prayers for the Benz's and the pay raises.

If loving you is wrong, I don't wanna be right but I'll be damn if I'm gonna be a dummy - unknown "ghetto" author (hmmmmm???)

I'm baaaaaaaaaaack! I was gone for a minute but I'm back again! But this past weekend, I was just thinking: Am I being Punk'd?

When I walked up to my Uncle's funeral (RIP Unck) and two police cars flew by me, I was looking around like "Damn where are they going?" WHY did they turn into the funeral home parking lot? WHY was my whole family on the outside of the funeral home trying to restrain my cousin who was yelling and screaming and falling out.

I immediately looked to my left, then right waiting for Ashton Kutcher to come running from around a tree or car and say, "Erica Martin, you just got punk'd!" Ok, come on Ashton, where are you? Cuz, it's getting serious over there. So in an effort to try to maintain the tiny morsel of dignity that we have left after such an embarrassment I have put together a list of stipulations for attendance at the next funeral.

1. If you think you are going to pass out, scream and holler, start a fight or fall into the casket - DO NOT come.
2. If you have on a halter top, booty shorts, jeans, gymshoes, a blunt behind your ear - DO NOT come.
3. If you feel the need to hold a telephone conversation during the eulogy and/or are participating in a texting session with your baby daddy - DO NOT come.
4. If you have consumed more than one glass of wine before the funeral (i.e. a fifth of hennessy, a pint of gin, an entire 40 oz etc.) - DO NOT come.
5. If you just got in from clubbing and are so sleepy that you are going to fall asleep and snore loudly - DO NOT come.
6. If you think "Amazing Grace" is "Omazing Grace" and you really don't know the words - DO NOT sing louder than the soloist.
7. If you think you need to take enough flowers off the arrangements to fill your vase at home - DO NOT come (Talking bout "this one is for Little Ray-Ray, these two are for the twins, this one is for Shay-shay so she can put it in her diary...)
8. If the shoes you have on hurt, DO NOT take them off and walk around that funeral home like you are at home.
9. DO NOT bring snacks like you gon' be there forever so you brought snacks just in case.
10. Finally DO NOT close the funeral home, like you close the club. Gone on home and quit kicking it outside their establishment like you outside the club or something.

Any comments, suggestions, complaints - don't call me (smile). No but for real, this one might get my butt kicked. My family is really crazy for real...

Tell a friend or five - I was just thinking by Erica N. Martin is back!

www.ericanmartin.com
www.2ndtimeonline.net
www.myspace.com/authorericanmartin

I'm typesetting Carla's debut novel and I must admit it strikes a few nerves every now and then. Her main character Tia, reminds me of a lot of people I know, myself included.

So in honor of Carla's debut novel (set for 10/31/06 release), I'm listing 10 Ways to know that you are stuck on stupid and parked on dumb!


10. If you have never been to your man/woman's house but ya'll have been together over a year - you might be stuck on stupid.

9. If you are introduced to his cousin "Kelly" but his Mama don't know who she is - you might be stuck on stupid.

8. If you've been engaged for 5 years but haven't received a ring or wedding date because he's working on his committment issues - yeah, you might be stuck on stupid.

7. If you are leasing an 06' 745 BMW and pulling up to an apartment complex or worse your Mama's house when it's time to go "home." - You, my friend, are stuck on stupid.

6. If you just let him stick the head in because you can't get pregnant (or HIV) if he ain't stroking - whew, girlfriend you are stuck on stupid.

5. If his 3 bestfriends are gay, he hangs in the gay bars, has the rainbow in the window of his car and you walked in on him spooning the same gay friend who was too drunk to drive home, so he crashed at your man's house, and he always wants to hit it anally but you believe him when he say's he ain't gay - I have a strong suspicion that you might be stuck on stupid.

4. If your rent ain't paid, your WIC has run out so the baby don't have any formula or cream 'a' wheat, you sold all the foodstamps, you don't have gas for the hooptie, but you go get your hair braided for $175 - You ARE stuck on stupid.

3. If she keeps saying, "Would you pay my carnote?" every month (and you do) but when your car goes in the shop and you need a ride, she tells you she can't because her "ex-boyfriend that is now her bestfriend" has her car - Boo-Boo, you might be stuck on stupid.

2. If you keep ignoring the "red" notice that your lights haven't been paid but on the night of your "Rent" party - they shut off in the middle of "Turn out the lights" by Teddy Pendergrass and you want to call DTE screaming and hollering - You just might be stuck on stupid.

1. If you believe him when he says "It was a mistake and I'll never hit you again. You just made me mad." You are stuck on stupid and parked on dumb!

As always, I welcome your comments! Check Carla at www.2ndtimeonline.net

www.ericanmartin.com

I know, I know it's been a while but a sistah has been extremely busy and in a rut! I've been moving at a slower pace, not making as many phone calls & appointments, dragging my feet and sleeping a lot...just in a rut. What I've realized is that I wasn't connected.

Things got away from me, I dove head first into the Literary Gala, which was a huge success (click here for pictures), and then I was getting my boy's ready for the new school year. Rearranging and working out some personal situations, working tirelessly for my 7 clients, making all the right connections, yet I still wasn't connected.

I was interviewing for newspapers and having guest spots on radio stations, making my mark in the media but guess what? I wasn't connected. I just didn't feel fulfilled.

I woke up this past Sunday morning and had a talk with God. I asked him, "Lord why am I dragging? Why am I not living up to my full potential? Where are these headaches coming from? Why have I lost my motivation?" And he answered, "Because you are disconnected from me."
I got my behind up, threw the SpongeBob pj's in the hamper and made my way to my church home where they received me with open arms even if they hadn't seen me in months. I sat a few pews from the front and received my message. I cried and praised the Lord and read my scriptures, and left feeling better.

Now I know one day of church isn't going to turn my life around but I'm reconnected spiritually and things are looking good. I've got my spunk back, I'm laughing and joking again. More importantly my business is thriving and I am making the RIGHT connections on a daily basis. Thank you family, for excusing my absence during my "Disconnection" phase but I'm back and ready to get to it!

So don't be expecting all this goody two shoes stuff next week! By the way, have you all picked up your copy of Straight with No Chaser yet?? Get to it!!

www.ericanmartin.com
www.2ndtimeonline.net

I know it's been a while but I was just thinking...

Why is that when I approach one of my people about the Black Tie Literary Gala, I always hear, "What do I get for $60?" My skin cringes every time I hear it. Now when I present the invitation to "other" people, they're like, "Wow, only 60 bucks? For a Black Tie affair? With food and drinks? That's great! Give me a pair!"

This is why I am so happy that we chose the ACT foundation as the charity that will benefit from our gala. They are adamant about exposing our youth to cultural events and the arts in their youth not when they are 36 and can't understand why a Black Tie affair cost $60!

You are not going to the club people! This ain't no free before 11 type of event! You are dressed in after five attire, walking up the red carpet, mingling with the movers and shakers in the city of Detroit, sipping on complimentary champagne and wine, access to a strolling buffet and a wonderful program. You'll be dazzled by the soulful poetry of 'Versisz' , moved by the uplifting story of Essence bestselling author Victor McGlothlin's plight with illiteracy in college, that almost cost him his football scholarship and so much more.

So again, parents expose your children to things like this early on, so that they won't look like a damn fool with their shoulders hunched up, the dumb look on their face, head swaying from right to left talking about "What I get for $60?" These are the same people that paid $150 to get into Puffy's Superbowl party (when he wasn't there). Or will pay $50 to skip the line at the Blue Martini Nightclub. I just don't understand it...

So I'll go on promoting literacy and diversity in the City of Detroit - if you are interested in attending a Hollywood Style Black Tie Affair please visit: http://blacktieliterarygala.mollyguard.com

Humbly,

Erica N. Martin
www.ericanmartin.com
www.2ndtimeonline.net - We're doing big things at Second Time Media, your premier publishing service!

Dear readers, fellow authors, bill collectors and the such,

Please excuse Erica N. Martin's absence as she has been working like a crazy woman to release the much anticipated (at least that's what I was told, hmp!) sequel, Straight with no chaser. She has sat tirelessly at her computer for 14 days straight, forgoing all calls and appointments to finish this book. (Car note people, I've been meaning to call you but what had happened was....)

So when you come to her house to collect your money, please excuse the condition of the house as Gary and Mookie have basically been living like bachelors (Hot and Ready Pizza Nights and lots of them). Excuse all the Red Bull Energy Drink Cans and boxes of No-Doze (hell I had to use something!) The pile up of dishes...well we decided to throw them all away and start from scratch... (I'm kidding. I had to laugh at that one, as I imagined my mother's face when she reads this like , "Oh hell naw! I know she don't have my grandbabies over there living like that. Let me get my purse. Where's my damn keys!" I'm just joking Ma!)

But alas, the project is finally finished. Sydni, Blake, Ariel and Mya have dominated her life for over 7 months and finally she is free of these $%^&'s ahem, women. (I never want to be this close to 4 women ever again in my life!) As much as she loves them, she's happy to be finish with her beloved characters! So please be patient as she regroups, cleans her house, pays some bills and brings her children back to a healthy eating state of mind.

She is going to rest for another week and then it is on to Indianapolis to release "Straight with no Chaser" at the Black Expo.

Thanks for understanding,

Erica...I mean her personal assistant (Ha! Yeah right!)

Visit: www.ericanmartin.com to order your copy of Straight with No Chaser and her other novels!
www.2ndtimeonline.net Your Premier Publishing Service!

I know I'm a little late, but I was just thinking about how there should be some ancient scroll that states certain rules and regulations that need to followed by authors. With that said, I've come up with a few things that I think may be helpful.

1. First and foremost, at multi-author booksignings DON'T come over to another authors table and remind a potential customer to stop at your table because you wrote such and such! They will eventually make their rounds to you, besides this might get the left side of your face slapped by that other author.

2. DON'T stand there with a frown on your face and your arms crossed and then wonder why ain't nobody stopping at your table.

3. AT NO POINT EVER IS IT OK TO CHEW GUM! Get a mint or have your bottled water handy in case your mouth gets dry.
3(a) And if you're behind me and you're popping your gum, please expect "The Look" and don't be surprised if I walk up to you with a trash can. I ain't gon' say a word just hold the trash can up - you'll know exactly what I'm trying to say from the look.

4. DON'T think that every event is going to be the event that you sell out all your inventory. Sometimes you don't sell one book but you network and meet other people that can help you in another way. Don't stalk off with your 300 books, with an attitude talking about "I ain't never doing this again. I didn't even make my table fee."

5. DON'T attend another author's workshop and set up shop with your books, on the same subject and while the workshop is going on you are passing out your literature distracting everyone from their real purpose for being there. Damn! If you're so damn smart and the "real" expert - do your own damn workshop. Don't piggy back on theirs!!

I'm getting heated so I'm gonna close here! Please feel free to add your tips because this is insane. I'm trying to be good these days, you know, cleaning up my karma and all. Help a sistah out ya'll!

www.ericanmartin.com
www.2ndtimeonline.net